he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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