They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize