My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize