Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
her vagine was all disorganized.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Randomize