She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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