So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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