I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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