should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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