Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize