i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize