his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize