look no pants
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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