Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
My pussy is not your playground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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