soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
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Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
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Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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