i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize