11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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