the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
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