it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize