but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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