Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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