also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
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from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Randomize