So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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