it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize