well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
the day after is always just damage control
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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