Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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