Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
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What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
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You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize