just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize