I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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