im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
my shit smells like andre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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