I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
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It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
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I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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