No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
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Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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