Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Randomize