He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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