Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize