Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize