Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize