every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
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shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
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You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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