I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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