i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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