I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
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How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
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I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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