I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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