It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
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Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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