When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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