I'm lost and stupid without you.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize