You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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