We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
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No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
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You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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