it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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