I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
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He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
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You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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