do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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