Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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